So right, my life.
I went back to work yesterday and it sucked mightily. I really wanted to stay on the couch watching Top Gear & home improvement shows, which is how I’d happily spent the previous several days, but alas, no sick days*.
This morning I went to get the surgical cast off and get a custom splint. It was ridiculously painful. I also got exercises to do, which hurt a really fucking lot.
I made an appointment to get my stitches out next Thursday, and went out to my piece-of-shit rental car, the appalling Chevy Aveo, which would not shift out of Park.
Cue 90 minutes of yelling and crying and whimpering and explaining to Enterprise that no, really, I’ve got my foot on the fucking brake pedal & I’m pressing the damn button, I’ve been driving longer than you’ve been alive, Little Babysitter Precious, I know how this shit works.
They sent out two people to do the same damn things I’d done, before concluding that they’d have to give me a new car.
Which turned out to be a full-sized Dodge Ram 4×4 pickup, which is like driving a fucking aircraft carrier. So not happy.
On the plus side, I can now straighten my arm, which hurts in a good way, and this morning I was able to scratch my forearm for the first time in 10 days. I nearly came.
Also happily, Loki has not yet cracked from overwork and lack of sleep, which is good, since I still can’t tie my own shoes.
So yeah, things could be worse, but I can’t readily imagine how.
* Not, it’s worth pointing out, “no sick days remaining“, but “no sick days whatsoever“. This is clearly a moneysaving move for the company, which is important, as our CEO only has one Bentley, poor man, and only two Rolls Royces. So clearly, we must conserve funds. Why, no, I’m not bitter. Why do you ask?