I am angry at food

So a couple weeks ago, my sweetie and I were both diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. It was not a huge surprise to me as I’ve got blood-sugar issues all over my extended family. My sweetie was somewhat nonplussed by it, but we’ve had a couple weeks to come to terms with the finger-poking, blood-testing, pill-taking, food-weighing, carb-counting reality that is Our Life Now.

Well, when I say “come to terms”, I mean “get irrationally angry about it”. Because it’s changed how I have to think about food, and I am (hopefully temporarily) pissed.

I was potato girl. I was firmly in the “butter in everything” camp. Huge bowls of Cheerios for dinner were not uncommon. I was not terribly alongside the idea of dark green leafy vegetables. I made homemade ice cream like it was going out of style, including several based on caramel. I have fourteen pounds of pasta in my pantry, for fuck’s sake, and I love me some homemade Alfredo sauce and a whacking great chunk of garlic bread. Hell, sometimes my entire dinner was a toasted baguette with olive oil.

Do you know how many grams carbs are in a baguette? I believe the technical term is “metric fuckton”.

Now, to be honest, I haven’t really cut any of these things out of my life, because I was told by the nutritionist girl I didn’t have to; instead, it’s about portion control. It’s about being aware of what I’m putting in my mouth. It’s currently about weighing things and taking notes. It’s also about making tradeoffs: if necessary, I will skip the rice with dinner so I can have ice cream later, because if I don’t, someone will get cut.

It’s also about fresher food, more veg and whole fruits, more lean protein. And to be honest, it is all delicious and I’m hardly ever hungry, while staying within my allotted grams of carbs.

Y’know what else fresh food is about? Dirty dishes. Guys, we are rocketing through plates and salad bowls and tupperware like twelve people live here. It is crazy. Homemade strawberry yogurt for two every morning means ten plastic containers in the dishwasher by Friday — and that’s just breakfast! Want cantaloupe with your lunch? Well, lunch is in a plastic chinese food container, and cantaloupe is in yet another plastic bowl.

It’s also pretty expensive. Fresh veg is not cheap, and even taking into account our black-market organic-lettuce supplier, our grocery bill has skyrocketed.

Finally, finally, though, it looks like we’re settling in. We’re each using a couple apps on our phones to track carbs & blood glucose, and we’re being as good as we can with how we’re eating, and trying to get more exercise, and we’re working our way towards the day when all of this is second nature and we can eat sushi without agonizing over the weight of the rice. And that will be a good day.

In the meantime, though, I’ve lost four pounds. Feature!