things I have learned recently

Things I have learned recently, a list.

  • If you marinate drained and pressed tofu slices in Sweet Vanilla Chili Sauce, then coat it in cornstarch and fry in a teeny bit of oil until golden brown and delicious, it tastes exactly like slightly spicy toasted marshmallows. Wild! It’s totally not a marinade & now I know why.
  • 32 minutes is far too much time to lose talking to stupid people, but I appreciate the story it gave me. Seriously, did not need to spend five minutes hearing about dude’s thyroid, whilst on a call ostensibly about dude’s spam. Seriously.
  • It is entirely possible to take the news of one’s ninth offer on a house being outbid without growling, throwing things or getting even slightly teary-eyed. That which doesn’t kill us, etc.
  • It is also possible to create a list about cool, annoying and frustrating things without resorting to caps or italics even once. Go me!

mad love is religion enough

So yesterday was Loki’s and my wedding anniversary, yay! Fourteen years, bitches*.

We didn’t do anything special or buy each other presents because (a) Loki had to work until 10:30, and (b) we’re giving each other a house. Y’know, eventually**.

Anyway. My plan last night was to do some ultra-romantic painting and possibly packing, but first, I thought I’d make a chopped salad with some toasted walnuts, so I quickly blanched the walnuts to kill the bitterness (all three pounds of them. Costco, you’re killing me) and as I was draining them, the pot slipped and spewed near-boiling water all over my hand.

OW. OW. OW.

So instead of Getting Things Done, I pretty much sat on the couch with a bag of frozen peas on my hand, whimpering occasionally. So much fun. You’ve no idea.

I did eventually toast the walnuts, but the fun had gone out of the production, and it hurt so much to put on the oven mitts that I didn’t toss them around as much as I should have, so some of them were extra-well-toasted while some of them were still pale. ARGH.

And today my hand, while much less red and puffy, is still pretty painful because not moving one’s fingers a lot leads to cramps. YAY.

So let that be a lesson to you: Plan a nice anniversary celebration, or you will burn yourself. You’ve been warned.

* Those of you keeping score at home will likely have something to say along the lines of “still claiming to be 23, eh? You realize that made you nine when you got married, right?” To you I say, shut the fuck up. I am 23 … in my mind.

** Nope, still haven’t heard. I thought it’d’ve been a great anniversary present (“Your offer was accepted!”), but alas.

the big update

I’m finally recovered from Loki’s Birthday Weekend of Much Awesomeness, thank the gods. It was touch-and-go there for a while.

Friday night we had some pretty good Thai at the Thai Elephant downtown, then saw Margaret Cho, who was filthy. Also hilarious. Also, Dot, Tom, Loki and I were, like, two of four hetero couples in the audience. Pretty amusing.

After, we dashed back to Tempe for the Ego Likeness/Voltaire show, which was pretty good. I wish we’d seen more Ego Likeness, though; it was my first time seeing them live, and I thought they pulled off the two-people-onstage thing pretty well.

Saturday I did a couple hours of prep for Loki’s shared birthday party with Ryan, then we went to Home Depot, where I took Loki to the tool department and said “Choose!” He picked a table saw and a compound miter saw, and now wants to build everything. Totally can’t wait to get into the new house* and start some serious woodworking.

We also got Ryan a ladder, which caused a sensation during the Presents portion of the night’s festivities. Note to world: gift-wrapped six-foot stepladders are a recipe for much hilarity. Highly recommended.

So in the fullness of time, people started turning up for the party, and soon we had a houseful, which was nice. If you somehow missed your invitation, that’s my fault. My address book is borked. I’ll make it up to you, promise.

Anyway. It was a party. Silly things were said, drinks were had, food was eaten. As usual, we had too much, but that always disturbs me much less than not having enough.

Sunday we spent doing some halfhearted cleaning, but mostly we lazed around. It was lovely.

And so ends the Ridiculously Long Update. I swear I’m going to start posting more so I don’t feel compelled to do several days’ worth of entries in one go. One more resolution to break!

* Whichever one it turns out to be. Nope, we still don’t know. Another week or so to go!